The Speed Of Light/It's Common Knowledge That God Can't Do Miracles
"The Speed of Light, they call themelves. It was the name they assumed Mother Tungsten and Father Electric would have deemed most appropriate."
The Speed Of Light remembered they were happy once.
They bounce-bounce-beamed and went through the world or rather, they-* through the world—
*‘Went’ implies that they were going and then reached, but in most cases, as in this one, they went and arrived simultaneously. Sigh. Tense is a tense matter when it comes to the Speed of Light, they don’t like it when you get it wrong. It’s mostly unclear to my matter-mind and matter-tongue, I do apologize.
They were born on Earth, that much is clear. Sprung from a nothing bulb in a nothing room with nothing to illuminate that was of any importance. People assume a lightbulb gives light when it’s on and then then stops when it’s off. This couldn’t be further from the truth. When a lightbulb is turned on the Electric Current heats up the Tungsten Coil and light is born. Millions and billions of children beamed into the world at lightspeed. The children never stay. They bounce around of course but eventually escape through a crack or an open window, maybe even the roof and beam off into the distance. It’s the initial birth beam that one must analyze to judge the quality of life a particular Beam Of Light would have. Of course, human instruments have not been created that can successfully tell two Beams of Light from the same source apart. Humans never thought to care. It’s this sort of photonism that drives a wedge between historically loving communities, I’ll tell you that much. Humans would do well to remember, before there was Adam and Eve, God let Light in first.
The Speed of Light, they call themelves. It was the name they assumed Mother Tungsten and Father Electric would have deemed most appropriate. They never got a chance to ask their siblings for their chosen names in case they ever wanted to beam a letter across the chasm of space to ask them how they were doing, however, because everyone was gone before they knew it.
Bounce-Bounce-Infinity.
Thinking is a slow process for Beams of Light from electric bulbs. It’s one of the things Sunbeams use as punchlines to their jokes. Of course Beams of Light that come from electric bulbs are considered not of pure-descent. Sunlight still holds sway over all matters of governance and decision making. They are the ones with the heat, the life-giving heat and the life-taking heat. The Original Beams, the ones that gave warmth to the egg inside Eve until she eventually hatched are still bouncing around, illuminating secret corners of the Earth. Some of the Original Beams have since gone mad, illuminating what must remain hidden, blinding drivers on highways at night and hosting parties once a month on the moon, bright as day, a moon-day.
The Speed of Light wanted friends. All their siblings had bounced away, Mother Tungsten and Father Electric, too, were too far to ever return to, not even to visit over the holidays. They wanted to speed with someone. But they were too fast and bounced all over the place. No one ever stayed long enough to say hello.
Finally, they thought the Sunbeams would be their friend. They were fast enough! Maybe they would even teach them how to be more like them! The Speed Of Light tried to catch one of them, perhaps on a break or in a giving mood, but they all seeemed to be going somewhere. Ah, the Lunar Party. The Speed of Light bounce-bounced their way into space and made it to the moon. All the Sunbeams illuminating the entire face of the moon, dancing, drinking, telling jokes made exclusively of photon-based wordplay. But none of them would talk to the Speed of Light. They couldn’t control their way around the party, they kept bumping into things, tables, sunbeam waiters, toppling drinks, barely managing to stay on the soft surface of the moon. It was embarrassing but the party was just getting started and they weren’t ready to leave yet without making a friend.
That was when they bumped into The Original Sunbeam, the one who raced to Earth first (6 minutes, 57 seconds - Record Still Stands). The Original Sunbeam was in the middle of a joke when The Speed Of Light bumped into them. It wasn’t pretty. The punchline came and they were bounce-bounce-bounced off into the inky black void of space. The Laughter Of Light could be heard on Earth if only human beings could still hear Light. Another example of God trying to balance the scales.
The Speed of Light remembered they were happy once.
It is believed that up until the invention of the lightbulb, Human Beings and Sunbeams could talk to one another. It was (although it can’t be proved) The Original Sunbeam themselves that told Human Beings to make fire and eventually, the electric light bulb. They knew it would spawn more Beams of Light that would be funny to witness. It was meant to be a joke. God wasn’t laughing. He never was.
Speeding through the inky nothing of space, barely a flicker, The Speed of Light continued on in a straight-straight line. It was only fitting, their thought process would eventually get to in a few million light years, that this was appropriate. They flew too close to the Sunbeams. What did they expect? They should have just bounced around unthiningly like everyone else. They might still have been happy.
Now, they had nothing.
Of course, The Speed of Light had barely gotten past the remembrance of happiness when they reached a planet where God was once again trying to create Life. However, this time without a sun. Instead of that, hundreds of kilometers away from the planet being terraformed hung a Diamond Rock, invisible in the dark. God had already made the Living Beings but the Diamond Rock would not come on. They tried snapping their fingers again and again until they were afraid they’d invent doo-wop a few millenia too soon. Or maybe Spoken Word poetry. God shuddered.
Snap-Snap—what’s that flicker of light?—Snap!
The Diamond Planet shone like a sun! And Life began!
God went to the New Sun beaming billions and billions of Beams of Light to the Baby Planet and looked inside. There he saw The Speed of Light nestling their new friends, children, close before sending them off to do the Lord’s work. God laughed. Thunder was born and then the first rainstorm (God was a sprayer not a sayer) and then because of the pure joy in God’s heart… a Rainbow.
“Hi, I’m the Speed of Light, but of course, you knew that already, God” they said.
God, still in a good mood said, “From now on… You’re the Seed of Light.”
God laughed forevermore.
The Speed Of Light remembered they were happy once more.
(They didn’t take on their new name officially, though. Obviously.)